When I became pregnant with my first child in 2016, I went into it with optimism that I would easily give birth and intuitively know what to do. Although I obsessively researched what items to buy for my baby, I didn’t research the actual process of birth or postpartum besides taking a childbirth class at our local birth center. I heard the word “doula” tossed around, but back then I didn’t think I would need help and I’d figure it out on my own just fine. When they talked about the hospital tour, I tuned it out because I was convinced I wouldn’t need to know that information since I was sure I would be giving birth at the birth center.

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When labor finally did arrive at 41 weeks (with my water breaking before contractions even started), it turned into a long labor with intense contractions that just wouldn’t progress to birth, even with the support of amazing midwives. After 24 hours, I was transferred to the hospital and given an epidural and Pitocin to help things along (sweet relief!). There were some scary moments when baby’s heartbeat was slowing and cesarean birth was discussed as an option. Eventually, I birthed my son vaginally after 35 hours of labor. With poor breastfeeding support at the hospital (a common story, unfortunately), my milk didn’t come in as quickly and I had a difficult first two weeks getting my baby fed, although with the help of a fantastic lactation consultant I finally got the hang of it. I remember feeling like I had been hit by a truck (my whole body was so sore after the marathon of labor) and I felt so disoriented and exhausted. I wasn’t prepared to be in the hospital for 3 days, and I wasn’t prepared for how tired I would be afterwards. When scar tissue from my second degree tear was painful and uncomfortable, I had no idea I could get physical therapy to heal it until 3 months postpartum when a friend told me that such services existed.

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In hindsight, I wonder how my experience might have been different if I'd had a doula supporting me through the process for both birth and postpartum. I've since learned the value of education and support, and although I wasn't as prepared with it for myself, I want to pass on those experiences to others so that their transition to parenthood has the potential to be a peaceful, empowered, and joyful time.